CulinaryGal

hos·pi·tal·i·ty -  n – a friendly welcome and kind or generous treatment offered to guests or strangers

hos·pi·ta·ble  -  adj

1.  friendly, welcoming, and generous to guests or strangers

2.  pleasant, agreeable, and providing what somebody needs to live comfortably

“Service is delivering on your promise. Hospitality is making people feel good while you’re delivering on that promise.”- Danny Meyer

How often do we get to experience hospitality?  Especially when it feels genuine, coming from a true desire to please?  Credit card and utility companies try to express it whenever the customer service person says how sorry they are that you’ve experienced a particular inconvenience.  Why do I always feel like saying, “uh huh, like you care!”  When I really, truly experience hospitable treatment, I feel very gratified and cared for.

I hope for it when I go to a special restaurant, or get to stay in a wonderful hotel.  I’ve experienced it with every Danny Meyer restaurant I’ve ever been to.  I’ve luxuriated in it when staying at my new favorite hotel in Paris, K+K Hotel Cayré. The concierges and staff are truly invested in their guests having a wonderful experience. I never feel like l’m bothering them with the millions of questions about restaurants and wonderful happenings around town while I’m there.  They are always happy to greet you and they recognize every guest by name as if we were wearing name-tags.  Its truly amazing!

I return to Los Angeles frequently to visit my dad, and we dine out regularly.  I experienced lovely hospitality the other night at a favorite Santa Monica (CA) restaurant, Jiraffe.  While my 97 year old father and I often indulge in our favorite classic cocktail when we dine together, a Manhattan, straight up, made with a variety of Bourbon Whiskies (he seems to favor Makers Mark , while I tend towards Jack Daniels , I have been experimenting with my Manhattans with American Rye Whiskey.  Our waiter was delightfully unpretentious for this upscale trendy French spot, so when I revealed my interest in a Rye Whiskey Manhattan, he was a bit perplexed as they only had a Canadian Rye, but was intrigued by my request.  He happily went back & forth, working with his equally intrigued bartender to find the right balance of their only Canadian whiskey, blended with the classic Sweet Vermouth (which many profess to only waft over the drink to add “fumes” rather than alter the whiskey) and a drop or 2 of bitters.  In the process of this, I learned the Canadian Rye is a actually a little smoother, and has more sweetness than the American Ryes, so the traditionally added proportion of Sweet Vermouth, made this rendition too sweet.  The bartender also was a trifle heavy handed on the bitters when we tried to tone the sweetness down with an extra drop of Angostura Bitters.  With all this back and forth, I was concerned that I was being a pain in the butt client, but their attitude and treatment of me and their challenge, had me feel that we were all learning something new together and they were delighted to explore this right along with me.  As it turned out, since the drink was just not coming together, I apologetically requested a traditional Manhattan made with bourbon whiskey in exchange.   Our waiter, Chris, was ever so gracious when he brought me the replacement, saying I inspired him to start researching rye whiskies, especially since he was getting more requests for it in the past year!  To his credit, and the restaurant’s, he never let me feel like I was being difficult or contrary.  I just knew what I wanted and since they were unfamiliar with rye whiskies, both our waiter and bartender were happy to oblige.  It was a fun experience to have not only with my family, but with the restaurant as well.  Cudos for hiring staff that actually take pride in, and enjoy, their work!

When I experience a restaurant, a hosted dinner or hotel concierge, I want to feel heard and taken care of so that when I’m ready to leave, it is almost disappointing that the evening (or event) has come to a close.  We were the last diners to leave, satisfied and content!

(BTW, what I like about Rye over the Bourbon is that it is actually a lighter feel in the mouth, less viscous, if you will.  The flavor is more delicate, though I’m sure the alcohol content is similar to the Bourbon.)

Homemade Cream Cheese Pie baked & photographed by Corinne Colen, ©2011

We recently had “Yoga for Foodies” instructor Dave Romanelli (yeahdave.com) at the Loft. As Dave walked through the yogis going through their postures, he started to discuss the question of “What is your relationship to food?” As I stood at the edge of the room, observing and listening, my mind began to race through my life with and about food. I hadn’t actually looked at my own relationship with food in such a long time that I was taken by surprise. For me, it was and is, an intimate question. (I was stunned by this seemingly innocuous powerful question.)

Dave spoke about his relationship to food…as an Italian Jew, he said, “…the Italian in me loves to eat, and the Jew in me is afraid someone’s gonna take it away from me…so, I eat like a pig.” Well, I’m not Italian, but I am Jewish. Being Jewish had me love to eat, and seemingly, to eat like a pig too, for a period of time. Not because someone was going to take it away, but because I had gone without with what (I later learned) I needed most. Without getting too psychoanalytical, I had forgotten that my once bad relationship to food developed when I sought much needed love and approval from my parents, when I had no clue how to give it to myself. Being reminded of this old wound, well, its still painful. It lasted at least seven years too long…..

Still standing at the room’s edge, I flashed to my years in Big Sur, California. This was where my I fulfilled one of my 3 life dreams: growing my own food, living with the land, and learning everything I could to be a good partner to run a household at 19 years old. Oh what a delicious time that was! I baked, canned tomatoes and fresh fruits, taught myself to cook with The Joy of Cooking, Adele Davis’ Cookbooks, The Tassahara Bread Book and Diana Kennedy’s first book, The Cuisines of Mexico, I bought all myself (they are still in our cookbook corner in the Loft). I experimented with recipes, learned to cook over wood flames and on a wood burning stove, discovered the delicacy of fresh abalone we caught ourselves which we used to catch linc (pacific rock) cod we caught over the rocks, and ate venison, wild rabbit, quail, and wild boar that our neighbors hunted. I still dwell in these fond memories of the foods that we produced with our own hands.

I was brought back to the awareness of the room and the yogis folding up their mats, readying themselves for the feast that was their reward for a great workout! My own journey with food has had many traversed many different paths….I was curious about what others’ journey may have been. As they sat to join in a communal, all organic dinner, beautifully prepared by Chef Peter Berley (chefpeterberley.com), I could only imagine the breadth of answers possible! I think, more than ever, my relationship with food is always, evolving. I know I enjoy taking care of my health and well being through healthful eating practices and lots of exercise. Every day is a challenge too. I’m not perfect; my relationship to food is still an emotional one as I still contend with loving too much the foods I easily overindulge in, if not being conscious: salty foods, sweets, great breads, chocolate (both the elegant bittersweets and the childhood favorites), and cheese. Oh, do I have a love affair with cheese….yet I am afflicted with a sensitivity to dairy protein!

So, tell me, what is your relationship to food?